Sometimes I wish life was a movie, so fighting for her would be because I love her and I don’t want to let her go, instead of being the guy who didn’t get over with her and kept bugging. So I could bring her serenade in the middle of night and it would be something cute, instead of annoying because she woke up in the middle of the night. So I could go back a few scenes and try to make it better. Try not to make the same mistake.
She thinks I’m going to be okay because every guy who has been in her life has hurt her and moved on but the difference is that none of those guys loved her as much as I do, none of them got to know her as much as I did. They only got to know the outer shell of the beautiful pearl that is inside. She thinks I’ll be happy without her in my life, but she doesn’t know how I’ve missed her every second of my life since she left. She doesn’t know that every time I get a text, I close my eyes while reaching my phone in my pocket hoping to see her name in my screen. She doesn’t know that she touched my heart and my soul. She doesn’t know that sitting 2 seats from her is worse than a rehab drug addict having drugs in front of him.
I might fake a smile at school so people think I’m okay and don’t ask questions but in the inside my heart is dying, my heart is screaming her name.
I asked God for strength and direction. He said “to be patience, that there is nothing He can do against a heart that has been confused”. I pray for her not to come back to my life but to clear her mind and do what her hearth tells her to do. If she is afraid of something, to forget about what her mind tells her and follow what her heart feels.
My great grandpa died last night. After 103 yrs of life in this world his life came to an end. God bless him.
Me right now.
